The Modest Bride Blog

Think finding a modest wedding dress can be a challenge? Just wait until you look for bridesmaids’ dresses!! After looking for a modest dress for my ladies that was the right color, right price, and right fit for everyone, I finally decided to go with a coordinated but not matching look. They looked gorgeous, but I wish I had known about Shabby Apple then: it would have saved a LOT of time looking for dresses!!

Shabby Apple’s founders, Emily and CK, started the dress company after they got tired of searching for dresses that didn’t show too much skin (sound familiar?). Shabby Apple sells dresses that offer a “return to what dresses were always meant to be,” in that you don’t have to spend hours searching for the perfect cami or cardigan to make it modest. And these are modest dresses that are way stylish: they’ve been featured in Glamour, People, Marie Claire, on the Today Show…the list goes on and on. That’s right…modern, modest dresses that are ready to wear straight off the hanger. (I’ll wait while you go do a little happy dance)

So what do these paragons of dress amazingness look like, you ask? Like this:

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I came across this fun project on goodLife {eats} (which I adore, by the way), and thought it would make a fun wedding project. Katie made it as a Valentine’s Day project, but wouldn’t these marshmallows be great individually wrapped as a wedding favor? Paired with some hot chocolate mix, this is one wedding favor that would definitely make it home with me!

Go here to get the marshmallow recipe, and here for a great hot chocolate mix to pair!

You know how I feel about customization. While I don’t subscribe to the theory that it being “your day” means you get to stomp on everyone’s feelings, I do think that it should be “your day” in that everyone who attends your wedding should feel like it’s so you. In my book, the more customization, the better!

So as you can imagine, Milk & Honey is right up my alley! They offer custom shoes for weddings and other special events. You get to choose the style of shoe and choose from a bunch of difference materials and embellishments to make the shoe yours.

Here are some sample shoes I created using their design tool:

You can see the many options on the left side of the image — you can choose the height, color(s), heel style, embellishments, and lots more!! What design would you pick?

Alta Moda Bridal definitely ranks up there as one of my favorite bridal boutiques. Many brides who are looking for a modest wedding gown have one of three choices: choose a gown that already has sleeves, add a jacket of some type to a gown that doesn’t, or alter a finished gown to make it more modest. Well, Alta Moda adds another option: they work directly with the gown designers to modify the actual dress pattern before the dress is made. That’s right: rather than trying to add a top to a strapless dress you love, or find a seamstress to make a similar gown, you can have a custom, modest dress right from the designer! Pretty great, isn’t it?

You can see the difference very clearly in this comparison from Alta Moda. A “traditional” alteration of the gown would have left a clear line where a bodice was added. In this dress, you can see that the entire top of the dress was reworked to include sleeves from the start of the gown’s creation — no line!

This dress is another of my favorites. Again, the entire top of the dress has been altered before it was sewn. Personally, I don’t know that this gown would have altered well — a lot of its charm is the flow of ruffles. But in the Alta Moda version, the top of the dress looks like one continuous flow because it is! And if you wanted more sleeve than the cap sleeve shown here, I would hazard a guess that Alta Moda could accommodate you there too! For more gorgeousness from Alta Moda, check out their website, as well as this post, offering gown shopping tips for brides.

Forgive the late post…I’ve been having winter travel “fun” and am typing this from the airport, where my flight just got delayed for the fifth time!

Despite that, it’s been a good day. I attended a training session on facilitation, one of the parts of my job I love the most. In one of the exercises, we were discussing the fact that when you’re dealing with public meetings, you can’t just have security eject anyone who is being difficult. It made me think of weddings.

At some point during the planning for your wedding, or even on your wedding day, someone is going to do something that frustrates you. Maybe the frustration is with cause, maybe you’re just stressed and that gets the best of you for a moment. Whatever the reason, everyone who plans a wedding has a moment where they want to shout “security!!” As tempting as it may be, though, I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that’s just as impractical for you as it is for the rest of us! So how do you deal with frustrating people during the wedding planning process?

First, take a step back and examine the situation. I know as well as anyone that wedding planning can be stressful and can make you prone to bite people’s heads off for the slightest “infraction.” If you really do have a reason to be mad, take a step back anyway. Is this worth the confrontation? It may be. While I don’t ascribe to the “my day” theory of weddings, you are the keepers of your wedding vision. If something is a key element for you, stand up for it! If someone is trampling that vision, let them know how you feel! Polite doesn’t mean doormat.

BUT. Neither does justified mean blank check. Remember, if someone is close enough to make you mad, you’re probably going to have to see them again after the wedding, and you want that interaction to be pleasant. So if you have to speak up to defend your choices for your wedding, do so gently. Do so lovingly. But also do so firmly—trust your instincts and believe in your vision. You don’t need “wedding bouncers” to stand up for your wedding…you’ve got this! Just take a deep breath, remember how much you love them (whoever “they” are), and share what’s in your heart. You’ll be amazed at how much a little understanding can diffuse even the worst situation. Good luck!

I spent my early childhood living in Germany and, wonderful as it was, there were some side effects. Including a lifetime inability to truly enjoy Hershey’s chocolate. Thanks to my early introduction to European chocolate, I am, I must admit, a little bit of a chocolate snob. I’m not above enjoying the occasional Dove square, but my real weakness is for almost anything imported. These chocolates, however, might make me change my mind…

A sampling from the offerings of Chocolate Editions by Mary and Matt, these chocolates define the phrase “look good enough to eat.” Aren’t these chocolates lovely? I adore packaged things that are as nice inside as they are out. And the last one is just fun — I think it might even tempt my husband (who loves charts as much as he dislikes chocolate) to taste a bit!

Speaking of things in pretty packages, I simply adore Mast Brothers Chocolate, partly for just that reason!! I love the packaging on each one just a little more than the last!

And if you haven’t checked out the newly launched Ticket Kitchen, you simply must do so! I’ve loved GiversLog for a while now, and I was so excited when AmberLee announced her new venture. I can’t wait to throw a tea or something so I have an excuse to order lots of these! Wouldn’t these make fun wedding favors or as part of a gift basket for your attendants?

I am not ready for winter to be over with (although the weather doesn’t seem to agree with me). As one of the few people I know who actually seems to like the snow, I have been just the teensy-est bit appalled at how winter just seemed to vanish overnight! Maybe the weather will humor me and give us just a bit more winter, but in the meantime, go check out this great winter shoot featured on Ruffled.

Note to self: must buy blue ice skates for next year.

What’s your favorite thing about winter?

I adore walk in love. clothing. I’m not really a t-shirt person, but theirs are definitely the shirts I would wear if I were!! I’m especially loving their new secret message t-shirts.

How great are those?? I think this would make a perfect fun gift for your bridesmaids — maybe for something comfy to wear before you all start getting ready for the big day? In fuschia or teal.

I’m discovering that I have a particular weakness for dresses with collars.

This Justin Alexander beauty, in particular, reminds me of the amazingly gorgeous riding habits women used to have. When I was little, I wanted to have a time machine just so I could go back and have one of those habits! I grew out of that particular delusion, but I still love anything that reminds me of my beloved riding habits!

Justin Alexander’s collection includes many other dresses that have sleeves or a jacket. Go check out the gorgeousness for yourself.

If you could wear any historical outfit, what would it be? A riding habit, like mine? Something flowing and Grecian? A demure walking dress?

- Leika

I think of the day after Valentine’s day a little bit like the day after Thanksgiving. So many people get engaged between Christmas and Valentine’s Day, and I’ve always thought of the day after as the official beginning of the wedding planning season. All of you who got engaged at Christmas are really getting into the planning now, and those of you who got engaged yesterday are now entering those first days (weeks, months…) of excitedly scouring the web to find lots of great inspiration for your big day. A VERY BIG congratulations to all of you!

So, happy wedding planning season! Here on Modest Bride, we’ll be kicking it into high gear to offer you lots of great planning tools and modest inspiration!! First up, let’s talk a little about getting organized, and later today, I have some gown gorgeousness to share!

Wedding planning is exciting and lots of fun, but it takes conscious effort to make sure it does not become stressful and overwhelming. Every bride-to-be feels stress at some point. But, by bring prepared and organized, you can make sure the stress doesn’t get the best of you!

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Everyone likes things made especially for them, but that’s never more true than when you’re talking about children. As anyone who has searched through what feels like 500 keychains to find the one with the name of a child in your life, kids LOVE things that are personalized.

This past weekend, my sister had her first baby shower (my niece will be making an appearance in April!), and one of the things we included in the shower details was a special kids table, covered in kraft paper, with crafts, treats, and personalized gifts for the little ones in attendance. When planning your various wedding events, consider the children who will be there.

For great sources of inspiration when thinking about how to celebrate the special little guys and gals who will be present at wedding events, try these favorites:

Hip Hip Hooray!
This blog is definitely one of the first places I turn to for kids’ party inspiration. Edited by Suann Song of Simplesong Design, the blog also features an all-star lineup of contributing editors. 

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I am not, as a rule, a huge fan of Valentine’s Day. Or hearts. In fact, I became notorious during the planning for my wedding by declaring (loudly and to anyone who would stand still, and a few who wouldn’t) that there would be no hearts or frills anywhere in sight. Luckily, I married a man who is as underwhelmed by February 14th as I am. Please don’t misunderstand me: I love love, and am very happy to be blessed by it in all its forms. But I love subtlety just as much, and am far more likely to be moved by powerful words, written in beautiful script and captured in quiet colors, than by all the hearts in the world.

Therefore, the “Beautiful Things” print by Anne Beestje makes my own heart go all aflutter, enough so that I can forgive it for combining hearts with the color red.

Isn’t the script just lovely? I really do quite adore this print.

And for those who, like my own dear sister, cannot be swayed from their dislike of hearts (and also for those who dislike shoes as much as the aforementioned sister) even by such gorgeousness as the print above, the Villa Figura shop also offers lovelies such as this:

I must admit, I love shoes, even in the house, but like knowing that I could take them off at home, if I wanted to do so.

Wouldn’t one of these prints make a lovely gift for a soon-to-be or newlywed couple?

{All photos by Villa Figura Prints) 

When photographer Amber Weimer sent these photographs to me, I nearly swooned! (Yes, I just used the word swooned. I’m an old-fashioned kind of girl). If there is one thing I love, it’s anything that has the elegant glamour associated with Old Hollywood. And do these photos ever!!

If Sinatra and Crosby make your heart go all pitter-patter, then prepare to be just as bowled over as I was by the gorgeousness that is Jackie & Jang’s wedding…

Doesn’t this image just say it all? Wow. 

How did you meet?
I was doing an internship at the law firm where he worked. I was dating someone at the time, so Jang would always be really friendly but I wasn’t more than just cordial to him. He told me he’d find excuses to come into my office and talk to me. Then things ended with my relationship and I started to really take notice of Jang. One day in particular we were doing our brackets for March Madness and I told him I “needed” his help. He helped me for over an hour and at the end of the day, he asked me out. 

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Technical difficulties got in the way of yesterday’s post, so this week, “Maids Monday” will be on Tuesday!

I love clutches. Adore them. I’m dangerous around them, though…after the fifth time I left one sitting someplace and forgot it, my husband threatened to hide every purse of mine that doesn’t have a strap!

If you have a little better luck with keeping track of clutches than I do, consider adding them as a great wedding accessory for you or your bridal party.

For brides with a style that is more modern, there are many great (and customizable!) choices available from sellers like BeeGee Bags and Red Ruby Rose.

I love the graphic style and pop of color in the lining of BeeGee’s Noir Peony bag.

Similarly gorgeous is the unusual Scots pine print on this clutch from Red Ruby Rose. I absolutely adore this bag! It would be perfect for a modern wedding with an outdoor motif!

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Today’s wedding was submitted to Modest Bride by the lovely Karen of Karen Schlink Photography. Karen is one of the most genuine and enthusiastic wedding photographers I’ve ever met, and she truly loves what she does (she tears up at every wedding she photographs!).

How did you meet?
Ben and I met at our church and were friends for a year before he approached me.

Tell us about the proposal…
On a gorgeous and warm winter day we went to our favorite park that we spent most of our time at. We hiked up to a flat area on the mountain that had a little granite bench where we went the first time we went to the park. Ben then proceeded to tell me how blessed and thankful he was that God brought us together and since we had been courting he was seeking for God’s will to be done in our lives. Then he told me that without a doubt he knew it was the Lord’s will for us to be together, and the absolutely gorgeous blue sky and 45 degree day in January was God’s blessing upon it. So with that he said there was only one thing left to do then he got down on one knee in the snow and asked me to marry him. I obviously said yes, then he placed the ring on my finger. God has greatly blessed us and been with us every day since.

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If you’re like me, the thought of the “traditional” *ahem* “night out on the town” for your bachelorette party never even crossed your mind. It turns out that a growing number of women are, in fact, choosing something a little less risque for their pre-wedding celebration.

If you’re looking for an interesting idea for your bridal shower or bachelorette party, how about taking the road less traveled with one of these great ideas?

Truffle Bar

Eden of Sugar and Charm recently posted this great idea on Style at Home. If you and your favorite women are all chocoholics, why not have a truffle bar in lieu of traditional desserts? In fact, if you really love chocolate, why not a whole chocolate night? If it’s winter, start with ice skating and hot chocolate. In summer, how about canoeing and s’mores? Main entree? Mole’ chicken, of course! To finish out the night, and your chocolate feast, recreate Eden’s truffle bar, with some for everyone to take home! Check out all the details here.

Flower Arranging

If chocolate isn’t your thing, get a jump start on enjoying gorgeous wedding flora with a flower arranging class! For amazing inspiration, check out the gorgeous class that the gals at 100 Layer Cake dreamed up. Kraft paper and calligraphy make everything better!

If you’re interested in hosting a floral design party of your own for a bachelorette party or bridal shower and are in the NYC area, contact Sarah of Blossom & Branch (the floral genius behind the 100 Layer Cake party) for more on their private floral design parties. Outside of NYC, check with your local florists to see if they offer flower arranging classes for private groups.

There’s something so terribly sweet and innocent about carving your initials into a tree, and yet…the poor tree!!

Well, now there’s an app for that. Country Living has created the “Treemail” app for the iPhone, iPad, and iPod touch.

You can choose from a range of different options for your carving, and then share the result digitally! Voila! No sad tree!

What would you carve for your sweetie?

App photos by Country Living

Every Monday on this blog, we’re going to honor the women who cheer the loudest when you say “Yes!,” who talk you down when you’re stressed over wedding details, and who stand up with you on your big day: your bridesmaids.

With the average engagement lasting a year or more (and even when you clock in at a speedy six months or less, like I did), there’s a lot of time between “Will you?” and “I do,” and your bridesmaids are there for every moment. Why not take a few moments to let these special women know how much they mean to you?

This card from Remanenets says it all, with a little glitz and glitter to boot.

Or you could remind your best girls just how much you have in common with this collaboration between Satsuma Press and Neither Snow.

If you and your girls adore all things vintage, check out these Vintage Bridesmaid Hankie Gifts from L. Elise Created.

And if you never miss a StoryCorps broadcast (I cry every single week), consider having the good people at Audio Heirlooms help you create an audio keepsake to share special memories with each girl.

Whatever way you choose to remind your bridesmaids how special they are, just make sure they get the message that their involvement makes your special day even more so. After all, who else would wear pink taffeta for you?

{Images from their respective owners unless otherwise noted}

Who says modest dresses have to have puffed sleeves? Adoring this regal dress by Joan Shum, via Poppies & Posies.

Wonderful real wedding, featured on Avenia Bridal’s blog, Fashionably Wed.

No, you’re not weird.

Let’s just get that out of the way to begin with. As the song goes, “you say potato, I say potahto…”

Maybe your preference is related to religious standards. Or you’re shy. Maybe you’re one of those people who’s always cold. Or you just want to keep a little bit of mystery alive. For whatever reason, you prefer a wedding dress that has more coverage than the “average” wedding gown. And that’s ok.

“Modest wedding gowns” have been given a bad rap, poor things, and the sites that feature dresses that must have been rejects from an 80’s prom don’t help. I know, having had the experience myself, that as soon as you start talking about a wedding dress with more coverage, things get weird. “Oh, well…” sales people say, “the style is really more for strapless dresses.” Well yes, thank you. Next news flash, please? Nothing against people who choose that style, but it wasn’t for me, and if you’re reading this blog, maybe it wasn’t for you, or you know someone who’s had that experience.

Here’s the big epiphany about weddings, though: NOBODY wants a cookie-cutter wedding. Nobody. Whether it’s that you want succulents instead of flowers, will wear a pink wedding dress, or plan to have a mix of bridesmaids and bridesmen, everyone wants to put their own stamp on their wedding. Choosing a modest wedding dress is just one more way to make your wedding yours. As far as I’m concerned, that’s not any more weird than having a vegetarian reception or using your dog as your ring bearer.

So here’s what you won’t see on this blog: diatribes of any sort, not even about choosing a a modest gown. Your wedding, your gown choice. Nor will you see exposés on terrible, scandalous wedding dresses. We’re more of a happy wedding place around here. So what you will see are lots of wedding tips, DIY features, bridal beauty ideas, gorgeous flowers, yummy food and cakes, and beautiful wedding attire (which, as a side note, happens to have sleeves and doesn’t bring the girls out to greet everyone). And the occasionalfriendly dialog about modesty. 

I hope you’ll enjoy, laugh, share, and chime in occasionally. Now, a little Louis for the road (all together now), “…you say tomato, I say tomahto. Potato, potahto, tomato, tomahto”…let’s call the whole thing “on!”